All we need to know is that the people we love -- those deep in our memories and our hearts -- are waiting for us there. Yet, at the same time, they are also with us here. This is the miracle. The miracle of love.
-- William Nichols

Make your own tile or even a tile wall for a garden. Imagine the powerful healing and remembrance that comes from the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington D.C. We hope to have "Austin's Wall" of colorful memory tiles someday at Solace House.

Find a special place (baseball park, sanctuary, the beach, a mountain path, a jogging trail, etc.) that can be a place of remembering. Go to this place alone -- sometimes ask a friend to join you. Bring a picnic. Allow time for just being.

One way of remembering is through works of compassion and charitable gifts. "A contribution to any worthwhile charity is a fitting memorial to the memory of someone you love."
-- Earl Grollman

What do you do with the possessions of someone you love? Jackie Kennedy went through J.F.K.'s possessions, carefully selecting gifts for his trusted associates, friends and family members.

One simple, loving way to remember is to still speak the name. It will be a big mistake to avoid naming the person who has died when stories are retold and families and friends gather. "Doesn't our friend, deserve something more than silence?"
-- Harold Ivan Smith

One way to remember is by sharing the loss with other friends and family. Remember that calls, phone calls, and notes count -- even those left on an answering machine or e-mail in today's hectic world.
-- Harold Ivan Smith

Tell stories and keep journals. One thing we used to do ... Our favorite time together was ... He made me laugh so hard when ... What I miss the most is ...

You can remember someone special by having flowers placed on an alter of worship in their memory. Send flowers on a birthday, anniversary or even with the change of the seasons.

Create new traditions and rituals such as weekly/monthly/annual candle lightings, with special desserts or dinners, with visits to unique places, flying kites, etc. Even plan an informal gathering of friends to remember. Include readings and music.

Think about the person who has died. One way to remember is to adopt one of his or her good habits. Ask yourself, "What did he or she teach me? What did I learn from their life?" Use the lessons in your own life.

Some people wonder if photographs should be displayed when someone dies. Talk about it as a family. We encourage you to have photographs around the house for years.

Listen to music that is memorable. Keep the tape or c.d. in a handy place so that it's easy to find. Play it as often as you like. Share the music with others.

As a friend, see if it is okay to take pictures at the funeral or gatherings of friends and family. Often, this is such a blur. Some people find comfort in going over who attended, what was said, and what was most memorable.
-- Alan Wolfelt, Helping the Grieving Heart

Organize a tree planting -- trees represent beauty and the continuity of life. You might write a short ceremony for the planting.
-- Alan Wolfelt, Healing the Grieving Heart

Collect and organize memories -- and don't hesitate to call a friend to help you. You may want to collect photos for a memory book or put everything in a memory box or treasure chest.

Go to the water. Spending time near the ocean, a river, or even a fountain can be restorative. The sound of water can be soothing. Go for a walk in the rain. Associate the healing with your loved one.
-- Alan Wolfelt, Healing the Grieving Heart

Write a letter. Keep a journal. Plant seeds of hope. Help others.
-- Alan Wolfelt, Healing Your Grieving Heart

Memories -- sometimes painful, often comforting, nestle against my soul and ache for expression.
-- Alan Wolfelt, The Journey Through Grief